The Resort

From time to time I write short fiction. Here’s a fun short story with a twist.

“If you like Pina Coladas! And getting caught in the rain!” 

“Billy Jo!” Matt called over his shoulder, seeing the older man approaching the edge of the cabana bar. He was wearing his classic Hawaiian shirt - three sizes too large, which was saying something considering that Billy Jo had to be pushing two-fifty at least. The older man threw his considerable weight down on the stool next to Matt. He nodded to the bartender, a young Caribbean man as thin and fit as Billy Jo was fat. Billy Jo’s belly bumped up against the stone bar as he kicked back his first beer. At least, his first I’ve seen today thought Matt. To be fair, Billy Jo’s face already had the tell-tale reddish hue that told Matt this was absolutely not Billy Jo’s first beer this morning. Then again, who was he to judge? He’d been at the bar most of the morning. Whatever, he thought, it’s my vacation. If I want a morning beer with my tacos I’ll have a morning beer. It sure won’t be like that when I get back to Ohio. 

“How’s it hanging partner?” Bill Jo asked, slapping Matt on the back as he signaled the bartender for another beer. Matt liked the guy in spite of their many differences. Matt was at least twenty-five years younger than Billy Joe. Matt still had all his hair, a blond scruff that sat unruly about his head this morning. Did I comb it this morning? He couldn’t remember. Did I comb it last night? He couldn’t remember that either. Plus, Billy Jo was outgoing and jovial where Matt was pensive and quiet. That’s part of the reason they got along so well: Billy Jo did most of the talking. Matt wondered whether they’d be friends in real life. He meant, back home of course. Vacation was still, after all, real life. 

“I’m good, man. Another day in paradise, you know.”

“Feel you there partner.” He took a large pull from his second beer. “Feel you there. Say, when you headin’ back?”

“Tomorrow,” said Matt. “At least, I think tomorrow. I’ve got to check my ticket again. I can’t seem to find my phone but I’m sure it's in my suite.”

“Huh, you kids and your phones. You know what? When I was your age, probably back in the eighties I’m guessin’, we didn’t have no phones like that. Ours were attached to the walls. And, if you wanted to call a girl, you had to talk to her ma first, or, worse, her dad might pick up. That was rough.” He took another drink. For a moment Matt thought he might get to talk but the older man continued. “We ain’t got no, what’s it called, twinder? That right?” He looked at Matt through bloodshot eyes. “That what it’s called?”

“Tinder,” Matt said. “Close.”

“Ah, close enough,” said Billy Jo, who promptly finished his second beer. “What you up to today?”

“Same as yesterday,” said Matt. “Sun, beach, booze. What’s more to life?”

“You got that right, my man, you got that right. I figure I’ll do the same. Soon I’ll be back in Cleveland, working at the factory, pumping out brake pads.” He looked off into the rising sun over the ocean and squinted. “Or do we even make breaks? I can’t rightly recall right now. Doesn’t matter. What matters is,” and here he clapped Matt on the shoulder again, “you and me is here now. And there’s no place I’d rather be.” 

Matt found himself walking along the beach and wondering: was he supposed to leave tomorrow? Again, he found it hard to remember. He’d need to check his ticket for sure tonight. He took another sip some his drink, something with coconut, and looked out across the ocean. The sea was a soft blue-green, the kind that the leaves look like in early spring if they had a little dusting of wet snow. Fresh and new. It even moved like a waving forest in the breeze. I’ll have to come back here, he thought, when I’m ready for another vacation I’ll come back. 

“Matt, what’s up man?” Said a voice behind him. 

Matt turned to see Ramsey coming up along the edge of the beach. Ramsey was a young man, maybe twenty, full of life and energy. He was fun to be around, especially after dark. No matter the night, Ramsey always had stories the next day about his various exploits. 

“Oh,” said Matt turning around to face the young man. “Hey, what’s up with you?”

“Nothing much,” said Ramsey coming closer to Matt. He was dressed in his usual linen pants. No shirt. Ramsey, whose six-pack was his pride and joy, never wore a shirt when he didn’t have to. “But man, I gotta tell ya about last night.” 

“Oh yeah?” Said Matt with a little smirk. “Big night eh?”

“For sure man! You don’t remember?” 

Matt thought for a second. Last night? Was he out with Ramsey? Maybe… He couldn't be sure. “No way man. Us? Last night? I don’t think so.” 

“Bro, sorry but it’s true. You and me,” he paused and jammed both hands into his pockets, revealing yet more abs, “and the ladies yo!” He broke into a gigantic smile. 

“Ha,” said Matt, “now I know you’re lying. No way any ladies would be about this.” He pointed to his own, definitely not six-pack abs. 

“Dude, you kiddin’ me?”

“Why?”

“You hot bro! The ladies love you! Remember Saturday?”

“I honestly don’t.” He honestly didn’t.

“Of course not! You be boozin’ bro!” Ramsey gave Matt a playful punch on his shoulder. “Man, but right now I wish you did!” He gave another massive smile. Matt liked this guy. He was genuine. Sure, Ramsey could be a bit… well… douchie but he was still fun to be around. The kid was twenty after all, what could you expect. 

“Whatever bro,” Ramsey continued, “we goin’ out for sure tonight!” 

“Oh man,” Matt started, “I don’t think I can. I leave tomorrow.” 

“Fuck that!” Said Ramsey throwing his hands in the air looking like a football referee calling a touchdown. “Ain’t nobody ever too hungover to fly. You ain’t flyin’ the plane, right?”

Matt gave a bashful smile. “Nah, I’m not.”

“Then last I heard,” Ramsey threw his arm around Matt, “no one too drunk to read no in-flight magazine.” He smiled again at Matt, who felt himself giving into Ramsey's infectious personality.

Dong. Dong.  

Both Matt and Ramsey stopped, looking back towards the resort. 

“Time for malaria pills,” said Ramsey shaking his head. “Only part of this place I hate. Wish we could just get rid of those mosquitoes or something. I don’t mind it too much. But tastes like ass for sure.” 

Matt smiled. “You know what ass tastes like?”

Ramsey smiled back. “Bro! Nice.” 

And with that, the two men walked back to the resort. 

“Mr. Johnson. Mr. Smart. Good to see you!” Said one of the resort activity guides to Matt and Ramsey. 

“Yo brother!” said Ramsey giving the young man fistbump. “How you doin’?” 

“Oh, I’m fine sir. Fine. Thanks for asking. Oh, line for malaria pills to the left.” He pointed the way.

“Thanks, brother,” said Ramsey. “Worst part of this place.” 

“Oh, worst for sure,” said the guide to the two men. “Worst for sure. See you at the club tonight?”

“You know it!” Said Ramsey, who gave the employee another solid fist bump before walking past. 

“I hate this part,” said Matt, head down.

“Me too man, but you gotta pay for paradise, you know? We could have eradicated these things if we wanted.”

Matt scratched his head. “I think we tried. Didn’t we? I’m not sure.” 

“Yeah, me neither.” 

“What’s up, partners!!!” 

A joyous Billy Jo joined the two. He threw his arms around the two of them, hugging each close before releasing them. “Pill time eh?”

“Yup,” said Matt.

“Then drink time my man!” Said Ramsey.

“Well,” said Billy Jo pointing down with one hand towards the other holding a beer, “I won’t have to wait too long for that.” 

Both Billy Jo and Ramsey hi-fived. “Hell yeah!” said Ramsey. 

The three reached the front of the line. A young woman stood behind a counter. She was extremely attractive and, from what they could see, wearing only a bikini top. 

“Pills?” she asked. 

“Sweetheart,” Billy Jo started, “I’ll take whatever you give me.” He swallowed down the two pills and chased them with his beer. The girl smiled back. 

“You going out tonight? I see you on the dance floor?” Ramsey took the pills and washed them down with the cups of water sitting on the side of the cabana. 

“Maybe.” She said with a wink that meant “Definitely”. Then she turned to Matt. “Pills?” 

“Yeah,” he said, “thanks. Appreciate it.” He took the pills in the little white cup. “Will you?”

“Huh?” she said, already looking to the next person in line.

“Are you going out tonight?” Matt looked expectant at the young woman. 

“Oh,” she flipped her hair as though realizing he was still there, “of course! See you there.” He wasn’t sure. 

Back at the cabana bar the three men sat and drank. 

“Dude,” started Ramsey, “I am totally going to hit that tonight!” 

Bill Jo laughed. “No way partner. I mean good luck. But no way. Matt, now maybe.”

“Why?” asked Ramsey his face a little hurt. “Because he’s white?”

“Oh,” Billy Jo looked equally hurt. “Nah partner. Come on, don’t do me like that.” 

“Don’t do you like what? Like you ain’t no racist-”

“Hey,” said Matt. “Come on. Just let it go.” Matt eyed the nearby security office eyeing them. “Let’s just drink.” 

“Fine,” said Ramsey.

“Cool partner,” said Billy Jo. 

Ramsey looked at Matt, “You took your pills, right?” 

Matt considered the unconsumed pills in his pocket. “For sure. Yeah. Why won’t I? Don’t want to die right?”

“Good,” said Billy Jo, “that shit’s serious partner. I don’t want to have to go with you to no Mexican hospital.”

“We’re in the Caribbean asshole,” said Ramsey while flagging down the bartender. “This is like, Cuba, or the Virgin Islands. Or whatever.”

“You sure?” asked Billy Jo.

“Yeah,” said Matt, “he’s right. I remember flying into an island.” Did he though? Now he wasn’t so sure. Matt looked out at the sun setting over the ocean. Suddenly, he had a thought. “Hey, Billy.”

“Yeah.”

“Wasn’t the sun rising when we were at this bar this morning?”

“Yeah.” He took another pull from his beer. 

“Well,” he looked at the sun again, “it’s just. Well, should the sun be setting over the same ocean that it rose over? I mean, doesn’t the sun rise in the east and set in the west?”

“Man, you too fucked up for your own good,” said Billy Jo. 

“For once,” said Ramsey clinking glasses with Billy Jo, “we agree.” He took a long drink from his glass. “Hey, where ya’ll want to go to dinner tonight?”

Matt sat in his room alone on his luxurious feather-down bed staring at the two pills. Where was his ticket? He couldn’t find it anywhere. In fact, he couldn’t find his passport or anything related to his coming here. Upon closer inspection, nothing in his room even bore the name of the resort. It was as though none of it even existed. 

But it did. Clearly it did. He was here. He had breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He remembered that much. But, the more he thought about it, the more he realized he did not remember anything from before today. Sure, he vaguely remembered the things Billy Jo and Ramsey talked about. But he remembered them in the way that one remembers something from TV, something that was on when you were falling asleep. He couldn’t see himself in any of it. 

He fixated on the pills. More and more he fixated on them. Now that he thought of it, he’d never even seen a mosquito anywhere near the resort. So, why the pills? But all the same, his head began to ache. He should take them, he thought. He should take them to get rid of the headache if nothing else. All the same… 

Matt leaned back in his bed. He wouldn’t take them, he thought. If he could get to sleep without them then he wouldn’t take them. 

It was that thought that carried him off to sleep. 

Matt sprung up from his bed, awakened by the sound of screaming. “What the fuck?” he thought to himself. Maybe someone was hurt. Maybe some guest was injured kayaking or something. 

But then he looked around. Matt quickly realized he was no longer in the resort. He was… somewhere. He had fallen asleep on a small metal bunk held to the wall by a rough chain. The walls were rough concrete. The floor that same concrete and, well, Matt didn’t want to think what else. 

His head was still ringing. What had happened? Where was he? He got to his feet and moved towards the door. It was nothing more than a rough-cut doorway in the middle of more poured concrete. He couldn’t see a window anywhere. He must have gotten into a fight. Maybe they had gone out to bar in town. Maybe… He wasn’t sure. Wasn’t sure about anything. 

Matt began to grope his way down the hallway. There were more rough-cut doorways. No doors. Most of the rooms were empty. The few that were occupied were so by sleeping men. No one that Matt could get help from.

Finally, Matt came to the end of the white, concrete hallway. He turned the corner to the left and came into a large open space. There were metal picnic tables strewn about the room in no particular order. A few men were standing around in blue uniforms eyed him wearily. Matt nodded and entered the room, taking a seat at one of the tables. There were a few men around, but none he recognized. 

“Shit. I don’t even speak Spanish.” he said to himself looking down. How am I going to get out of here? Plus, he thought, I have no idea why I am here to begin with. He touched the side of his temple. His head was throbbing. Matt fought the urge to cry. I just want to go home, he thought. 

Then he looked up. In the corner of the room was the section of the concrete that had been cut out. It looked, he thought, like a bar. Matt stood up and walked over. The man standing behind the counter looked exactly like the young man from the bar in the resort. Only, this young man was wearing a military-style blue uniform and, instead of alcohol, he held a pitcher of water in one hand and several stacked solo cups in the other. 

Matt sat down. “Uh,” Matt said haltingly, “hey.”

“Drink, sir?” asked the young man, who barely looked up from his phone which was laying on the back edge of the bar.

“Sure,” said Matt. 

The young man, without looking, dropped a solo cup onto the bar and filled it with water. Then he pushed it over to Matt.

“Thanks,” said Matt taking the glass. Matt began to look nervously from side to side. Suddenly this was looking too familiar. 

“How’s it hanging partner?” Matt heard from over his shoulder. For a moment, Matt was frozen. He knew the voice but did not want to turn around. A hand fell upon his back. He knew it. 

“Partner, you gonna talk to me?” 

Matt turned. What he saw nearly made him vomit. It was Billy Jo, exactly the same. The face, the drunken expression, everything. But, not completely. In place of the oversized Hawaiian shirt and board-shorts was an orange jumpsuit. Matt looked down and realized he was wearing the same thing. 

“Billy…” Matt started in a daze, “when, when did we get here?”

“Me? Partner, I been here all week. Best all-inclusive in the Caribbean. You? Yesterday I think. Want a beer?” He motioned to the man behind the stone half-wall who poured water into a solo cup and slid it over to Billy. “Ah,” Billy said. “Love that Mexican beer.” 

Matt looked bewildered. “Beer, but Billy that’s just…” Suddenly the young man behind the bar snapped to attention. “Gross. I mean gross. Mexican beer is terrible.” 

“What? Fuck off, hombre. We drank a gallon of this shit yesterday. What’s your issue?” He pounded the rest of the water and slid the cup back over. The young man dutifully refilled it - never taking his eyes off of Matt. 

“Oh,” said Matt, “for sure. Sorry, I totally forgot. Sorry. I… I just-” 

“What’s up bitches!” came a voice from behind Matt. 

Before Matt could turn around Ramsey was sliding onto the stone bench next to him. He looked exactly the same but wore the same orange jumpsuit as Billy. As he slid into the seat next to Matt, he noticed a badge on Ramsey’s shoulder. It read: “Ramsey King. Child Pornography.” Matt looked around Ramsey towards Billy Jo. Billy Jo had a similar badge. It read: “Billy Jo Thompson. Aggravated Assault. Hate Crime Enhancer.” 

It took a moment, but Matt finally looked down. He had his own badge: “Matthew Reading. Extortion/Money Laundering”. He took a deep breath and looked back up at the man behind the bar.

“You ok, Mr. Reading?” the young man asked. 

“Oh, just fine,” Matt said. 

“You forget your malaria pills?” the young man leaned in. He reached inside his coat pocket and withdrew two pills. “Cause I got two more. Just in case.”

“Thank you,” said Matt, for a moment holding the pills in his hand. 

Then, a familiar song came over the loudspeaker. It blared: “If you like Pina Coladas…” 

“Man, I love this fucking song! Turn it up!” said Billy Jo, pounding Matt on the back. 

With that, Matt shot one last glance at the young man across the stone bar and swallowed both pills.